Currently Listening Deftones By Deftones see related

For the lack of writing in this day-in-the-life of Courtney journal, I have good reason. I got kicked out of my house.....where money is twisted from  a valuable possesion into a vital neccesity....its the food you eat and the comforts you so long had been accustomed too, vanish into fantastic luxuries. I went time without eating.....sleeping.....and communication to the outside world. I was safe with a roof over my head, but for once in my life I had this freedom to come and go as I please, to decide my fate without berrating and nagging that drove me to insanity and ironically to work harder. I did and said things I'm not proud of, I pushed my boyfriend away.....and for once when my hands were throwing someone out, he latched on instead and made damn sure that he was holding on even when I wasn't. I've had that done one other time in my life, and ultimatly I did push em' away. I'm only glad that my friends came to give me my legs to stand on. I had pre-pneumonia and passed out at work, and from this stem of illness my mom and I let each other give in  and forgive. Through all my tribulations I've learned just one or two things.....that first off I am not nearly as brave, morally based, and smart as I once was. Friends mean everything when you have nothing b/c they will make you smile when its raining and especially when your broke. The last thing Forgiveness without forgetting, is just a grievance in disguise.

                                                               -A Lesson Learned Dixie-

Currently Listening Praying for Daylight/Long Slow Beautiful Dance By Rascal Flatts see related

- Sara Beth is Scared to Death

Powerful-

Simple word with a contradictory meaning, I mean feel the word roll from your tongue, and its absolutely delicious. It 's breathtaking to how we can choose the little guilty pleasures of our humble existence. How we can color our rooms, or what makes us smile....To the large than life questions of what college we'd like to pursue or the career that completes us, on the emotional level...the plunge we take with our hearts or the friends we make on our rugged paths. See your friends today and smile...Senior Year may be close...or even slipping away. If your in love shout it from the rooftops. If your heartbroken, cry for the very last time. Seal memoirs in a box, and kick on a pair of new high heels. Most of all, arrange Movie Dates with your pals so you can laugh at the corny jokes together....basically make memories. There are some days when I'm dying to pick up and wake-up ina  tiny studio over looking the New York Streets, and others I just want to be in a crowd of best friends. Its all about choice.....And I like that. "For that second chance, for a break that will make it okay" Great line, great song.....best of all a pleasant memory. All the same a memory and now..I'm okay with that.  Rock On Class of 2006....your the most treasured of my HighSchool experience....just you guys.

                                                                "Memorable Dixie"

Currently Listening Anastasia: Music From The Motion Picture (1997 Version) By David Newman, Stephen Flaherty, Marx Richard, Donna Lewis see related

- In The Begining

Sometimes, you yield up a part of your past, sometimes feelings linger longer than tears can keep-up. The essence of bitter tasting liquid choking your throat, aching in your heart. Then sometimes, just sometimes life is a mirage. House of Mirrors, where at every wicked turn, comes this clear surface of haunting answers. Facing the truth is destructive, but like many things you have to be thrown down to get picked up once more. I am living my life, for me. You can't chase shadows. Live for life, live for love, live for laughter. If things are meant to be, then allow time to take action in the route, destiny finds suitable. If not cherish the memories and live in the present.

                                                                 "Epiphany Dixie"

Currently Watching War of the Worlds (Widescreen Edition) By Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins see related

Okay So I had a surprise birthday party, freakin Sabrina and Kyle are fabulous for decorating and Mom for renting the Grand Place! I loved it!! Suck and Blow with Choco and Sarah...weird. Kissing Choco with Sarah rooting me on,....probably on the list of uncomfortable things right under sittin in a tub full of scissors, and above meeting your dates parents. Yeah not exactly the coolest things but definately hilarious, and my whole day from start to finish just rocked, in the way only special days can rock. Like Scott, okay when I went to Alabama, I rode Greyhound how fabulous was this, not very. On the way back I sat in front of this Mark Walhberg look-alike, like he did in Fear except for the whole crazy aspect of killing the Parents(Thank Lord) with a brow piercing and lip, and I was floored. Half-asleep and Half-awake we talked about a few things, especially the fact we are both from Panama City, and live like ten minutes away. He asked slyly " So your boyfriend must miss you in Panama City" and at the time I was seriously in love with Nathan so no matter how cute, I happily replied " Yeah he does" and the conversation suprisingly didn't fizzle it progressed into a deeper talk of our passions and background, both military dads, go figure. Anywho on Friday night I'm at the register and this guy walks in, at first I didn't notice him even when he was in my coworkers check-out line. My nametag was hidden so when he said "Courtney, whats going on?!" I was shocked for a second, looking at that same Mark-like face. He smiled " So you left me in Tallahassee" and he started laughing b/c my face just went like "OMG" and I laughed "No way, Scott" he nodded and after casual convo, he said GoodBye. What a bummer right? Well like ten minutes later he called the BlockBuster and said " So does your boyfriend still miss you?' and I waited and said " Actually the missing is kinda over" and now we are dating, which I'm still feeling it out. I'm not gonna ring bells or go crazy over this guy, but it definatly is a nice change of pace. So tomorrow he's coming over to meet the rents.

In other news my lovely Sabrina was in a muscle suit, in Seussical if thats not enough reason to get histarical over, go see the Show it was flippin fantastic. Love Ya Guys.

                                                                                    ~Dating Dixie~

Currently Listening From Under the Cork Tree By Fall Out Boy see related

First off...IM 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Crap I can buy a lotto ticket, a porn, cigarettes, and vote. I can go into strip joints and clubs, and CK Secret's Back Room....Wow I'm really not doing much of anything except by the ticket or slipping in the backroom, but hey its a great age. With all my friends laughing it up with me, celebrating the age of "adulthood" and smiling about the great times together such as Sabrina, whom I love more than most things despite the quirks she's a treasure, you just have to brush off the dust to really see the shine of the gold underneath, Squirrel(Adam) and Hozae...Trey another one my assets of a friend and Grubbs, all my beloved coworkers. Most importantly my family, who've supported me through the bad and were proud of me through the good. Blessed are all of us in this magnificent world. Short Post, cause I have a previous engagement.

                                                                                 ~The Eighteen-Year-Old Dixie~